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Writer's pictureJohnny Aman

10 Legends That Wouldn't Make it in Modern Wrestling



 

10. Mexicools

This entry will cover several gimmicks that would not make it in the modern world. If they were to be covered individually it would get redundant. A list could even be made about such gimmicks. Such offenses include the Mexicools being regulated to essentially wrestling lawncare workers. All three luchadores are extremely talented. Hornswoggle being a leprechaun. Then further compounded by the fact that storyline made the Irishman Fit Finley his father. Tatanka and Chief Jay Strongbow both portrayed Indigenous Americans neither man being from the tribe their character was from. Nikolai Volkoff and the Iron Sheik portraying an enemy of the United States.


 

9. Bruno Sammartino

Bruno is on this list for a different reason than the others. Bruno Sammartino was popular in the North East of the United States. The then WWWF played up the fact that he was Italian which was a primary demographic of the time. The problem is Bruno could not draw outside of that area. This is a problem when most products are not only national but international in modern times. The most recent character that used their ethnicity for a gimmick was Rusev. Rusev was regulated to mid-card and even had to evolve away from that to get over.

 

8. Kamala


The Ugandan Giant. This gimmick was fueled by the cartoonish nature of wrestling in the 1980s to late 1990s. Kamala was a head hunter who didn't know English. An aspect of his character he kept going outside the ring for many years. So, what would make Kamala not welcome in the modern wrestling? Part of his backstory is having been a body guard for a Ugandan Dictator Idi Amin. Modern fans have shown that they do not take kindly to support of dictators or despots with uproar around the WWE partnering with Saudi Arabia and hosting an event shortly after the execution of a journalist.


 

7. Sable

Sable unfortunately was active in a period of women's wrestling where they needed to look good and not necessarily be able to wrestle. That dark era was filled with bra and panties matches, mud wrestling, and other degrading stunts. Sable was the first woman to pose nude for Playboy magazine. After which she debuted this catchphrase "This is for all the women who want to be me and all the men who come to see me." A catchphrase that emphasized the fact that women of this era were eye candy and did not need to be legit wrestlers like Alundra Blayze, Luna Vachon, Mae Young, and many more that came before her. Now that the pendulum has swung back to women needing to be able to wrestle Sable wouldn't make it.



 

6. George "The Animal" Steele


George Steele's character would be his problem. George Steele in real life was a man named William Myers and taught high school in Michigan. Myer's original character was masked wrestler "too powerful" to do traditional moves and called the Student. The Animal character however was portrayed as a missing link and essentially individual with an intellectual disability. Fans would take issues with the intellectual disability angle because the wrestler with the gimmick does not have a disability. Even if George Steele portrayed his Animal character in a fashion that was inspirational like Eugene in 2007 there is no room for that in modern wrestling.




 

5. Val Venis


If the #metoo movement would have happened in the early 2000s Val Venis would have been canceled from the get go. Portrayed by Sean Morley, Val Venis was a former porn star turned wrestler. One of Val Venis' more infamous storylines involved him sleeping with a foes wife. This prompted Yamaguchi to threaten to "choppy choppy your pee pee" The character would temporarily evolve during the Right to Censor storyline. Where he and a group of other questionable characters such as the Godfather and Ivory tried to clean up the WWE. A storyline which was satire of real life criticism the WWE was facing at the time.




 

4. Fabulous Moolah

Moolah may be a product of her time but she still would not make it in modern wrestling. Mary Lillian Ellison started her career under Billy Wolfe and Mildred Burke. Billy Wolfe was the primary provider of female talent to the NWA in the late 1940s and early 1950s until his divorce from Mildred Burke. This is where Moolah would learn her tactics of taking percentages of all appearances and sexual harassment out his clients. While some individuals do view Moolah as a more ethical promoter than Wolfe, she does have many detractors. Her legacy is also diminishing as the WWE has moved away from honoring her.


 

3. Hot Rod Roddy Piper

Piper was sound in the ring and a legitimate bad ass. His ad lib was second to none and gave the world memorable lines. The things that would keep him from making it in todays world is when he is hot as a heel seemingly nothing is off limits. During the 1970s Piper would feud with Chavo Guerrero Sr. during this time, Piper would make stabs at Chavo's Mexican Heritage. The most dastardly thing Hot Rod did during this feud was feign an apology just to "La Cucaracha" claiming it to be the Mexican National Anthem. Additionally, Hot Rod would disrespect the Mexican flag in various ways. Jericho would try this tactic in Brazil in


2012. This desecration got Jericho suspended. He would use the same attacks on racial heritage when feuding with Jimmy Snuka. Hot Rod Roddy Piper would also don partial black face during promos when feuding wit Bad News Brown. While those things may have been done off the cuff, Piper did it so that the crowd would get near riot. Chavo Guerrero Sr. and Piper was good friends something discussed in "Rowdy: The Roddy Piper Story" .

 

2. Macho Man Randy Savage


Truly a mad man in and outside the ring. His antics outside the ring include making the cobra which bit him on TV bite Jake Roberts to ensure the venom was out for fear of losing his spot. Another instance Macho was at a Waffle House and his giving his order got interfered by a person announcing they were just married. Macho even put out a rap cd with the only apparent purpose of insulting Hulk Hogan. Those aren't the antic that would bury the Macho Man. What would have kept Macho Man in today's culture? Two things his treatment of Miss Elizabeth and the rumored relationship with Stephanie McMahon. While it is just rumors and can only be now confirmed by Stephanie it was said that Macho Man dated and slept with an underage Stephanie. Many wrestlers have "confirmed" this and claims it is the reason Macho Man never returned to the WWE. Stephanie Bellar a former girlfriend of Macho Man said during a drug induced rant that Macho Man confessed to the deed. However, this is just hearsay and cannot be taken as fact. The other thing to bring down the Macho Man would have been his treatment of Miss Elizabeth and not just the storyline jealousy. That jealousy extended into real life. Shortly before Elizabeth filed for divorce she would sneak away with Hulk Hogan and his then wife Linda to Miami.


 

1. Ultimate Warrior


Warrior had flash, warrior had a great physique, and warrior had marketability. What Warrior didn't have was technical ability and stamina to give the audience a great match. During his run in Memphis teaming with Sting neither man's talent got past the fact that they were body builders first. Due to this, Warrior and Sting would be sent to Mid-South where Warrior wouldn't last long. The upside for warrior is it didn't take long for him to make it to the WWF. During a four year stint, Warrior would make his impact that fans remember. In 1992, Warrior was involved in the steroids' scandal that rocked the WWF. A second ding on the Warrior to fans might be if they knew that part of his return to the WWF in 1996 involved the WWF promoting and selling his Warrior Comic. Although Punk did get the ice cream bars he wanted in the WWE when he debuted in AEW I don't know how well fans would take to that type of demands. Especially when like with Punk, The Warrior didn't last long with his return. The last reason for him not making it in wrestling today is a homophobic rant. Rants like this have kept people from joining major companies today.





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